So the other day, my son comes into my room to announce that he would like to take skate boarding lessons. He’s been practicing on his own but apparently, he is not pleased with his progress nor the pointers that I have been giving him (Stop laughing! I was once pretty good). Even his beloved You Tube has failed him this time. Now being the concerned and involved parent that I am, my reaction was, “I’m sorry, what?” Ignoring my reaction he then says, “Can you ‘Google’ that and find out how to make it happen?” Why yes son, I suppose I can but why would I want to? But then it occurred to me, I have been going round and round with a few of my friends that are aware of my son’s Aspergers and they insist that I need to sign him up for flag football or basketball. When I talked to my son about it, he was alright with it but definitely not thrilled. I am a huge football fan. He is not.
Now before we go down this “you’re the parent and he will do what you say” road… I know that. He knows that. You see, I don’t feel disrespected if my child wants to do his own thing. I can already see my boy’s persona forming. He’s very much an independent thinker but he respects other’s opinions. I cannot for the life of me to get folks to understand, we/he may look perfectly normal (whatever that means) but we (people with Aspergers) are wired differently. As long as he understands that he must be respectful to adults always, and that he must treat others as he would like to be treated, I do not feel the need to impose my will on him. We actually had a conversation with his older brother too when we were contemplating signing up for football or basketball. I thought his brother said something rather profound when giving his input, “if you’re not going to commit to it and give it your all, don’t even bother.”
So next week, we will make a reservation and take our first skate boarding lesson.This will accomplish the same goal as flag football; I think. He will meet and interact with new people. He will engage in some physical activity and get out of the house. One thing is for certain; we are going to do what works for us. Less stress, more enjoying life. NO people pleasing. Life is a Precious Gift – live it with NO REGRETS