I make no secret of the fact that I have often dated younger men. Nowadays, I date men who are slightly older than me, slightly younger or my own age but my preference USED TO BE younger men. I’m certain it’s not just about sex either. After all, age is just a number, right? Therein lies the question – How young is too young? At one time, I was getting rather serious with a gentleman that was 9 – 10 years younger than me. We shared things in common and we enjoyed each other’s company but was that an anomaly? Is there a point where it’s just about sex and the two of you really have nothing to talk about? Seriously, what could I possibly have in common with a 28-year-old man? What about pillow-talk? There should be no shaming involved if both consenting adults are only in it for the sex but what about if one of them decides that he/she wants more? Most 20 and 30 somethings don’t have children yet. I know that at this point in my life I want more than a shallow relationship and I don’t want any more children.
I have friends that are younger than me. I try to stay current with the latest trends in music, fashion, television but let’s face it, there are going to be generational differences. I was reading in my horoscope that I have the ability to communicate across generations. I do know that I get along well with children as well as older folks. Does it become the same type of situation that Demi Moore and Mariah Carey are in? Were Nick Cannon and Ashton Kutcher with them because of reasons other than pure love?
I’ll let you in on a writer’s secret, I wrote this a while ago so both Nick and Ashton are gone… But I digress… Is it the personalities of the folks involved in these two examples or is the age difference just too big of a factor to overcome? I submit that there really is no happily ever after and age may have very little to do with it. The best that we can hope for is to trust the universe to find someone that plays well with our demons and loves us unconditionally and hope for the best.
Here is my YouTube video to go along with this post. I have been having technical difficulties getting it to embed… It is cuffing season
So as you can see, I am changing the format slightly. I am no longer giving them numbers. Instead, I will be giving them subtitles. When I came up with idea for this post, I admit it was a little tongue in cheek. I mean no one is going to realistically structure their lifestyle around the weather, right…? But let’s talk seriously though. Suppose it actually has less to do with the weather and more to do with the fact that people who are normally happy go lucky singles start to feel the loneliness more during the holidays? After all, people are often with their families and if you are unattached, you might not have a family to spend the holidays with and that makes not having a significant other…well, even more significant.
Consider the fact that suicide rates go up during the holidays. Couple mental illness with all these darn cheerful, family-oriented holiday festivities and viola! – cuffing season.
People need and want to be loved, valued, cuddled…even if it is a facade. And consider this- Is all of this exacerbated by being on the Autism Spectrum? Many people on the spectrum have strained relationships with their families. Many people on the spectrum have a terrible time navigating the dating world. If someone who is equally lonely and or desperate comes along…meet your new cuffing buddy…
So what do y’all think? Change in weather, change in attitude towards commitment? I have done a little research for us and here is what I found. Huffington Post had this to offer: Cuffing Season
My whole premise in my little series has been: If you are going to be monogamous be faithful to your partner. Otherwise, be honest with your mate and let them know that you want to try something different. Have you ever heard of consensual non monogamy? Let’s face it folks, there are a lot of married people who are non monogamous it’s just not consensual.
I’m a Christian y’all. I understand the whole concept of one man one woman but that is being challenged now and what right do we have to tell people how to live their lives? I say if you have your belief system, that’s wonderful. But I don’t think you should impose it on other people. Give them the information and give them the option to chose their path in life. And contrary to popular belief, these alternative lifestyles are not all about sex. I had a response to my post just before this one and to paraphrase: “Bringing another person into the situation is only going to complicate it and just for a few moments of pleasure/gratification…” Yes, bringing other people in is complex but that just means there must be open communication. Stay tuned for further exploration of this subject. The research is quite compelling. Monogamy forever….? Hmmm?
Marriage and monogamy or Single and sexually free? Are you going to get married and stay faithful or are you going to get married and do whatever the hell you want to do? Why not just stay single? I can’t help but to think about Tiger Woods… He wanted the ideal, picture perfect family – the wife and kids but he also wanted run the street with all manner of bimbos… Yeah, I may be showing my age but that’s the nicest name I can think of at the moment. I mean, if you are going to get married, why not put your all into it?
I think the idea of marriage is wonderful. You have a person who has promised to stay with you FOREVER… UNTIL YOU BOTH DIE… That means they will put up with all your bs and you have to put up with all theirs. And truthfully, I don’t think any couple is happy all the time but they are willing to work through their differences and stay committed to one another. There is something rather comforting about having someone there with you if you need a reassuring hug… Is basic companionship one of the most attractive features about getting married?
Last question: Do you need to be madly, passionately in love with someone to marry them?
I was wide awake as usual when I should have been sleeping. An idea popped into my head and well, here you have it. The posts won’t be long but I do hope they will be entertaining. Now please excuse me while I destroy this learning curve and get at it for real. I hope you enjoy my musings.